Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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