I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What a dumb baby whore.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
