Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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