I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize