Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
