He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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