so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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