When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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