my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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