I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
