It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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