You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
