Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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