Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize