bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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