why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
