Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
