I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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