Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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