I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
