I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
