You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
