weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
