There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize