you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
