Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
