Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
