Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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