I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
