You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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