she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
