I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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