yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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