now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
