he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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