so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
