my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
