i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
