You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize