I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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