I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
