you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No subtext here. People are naked.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
