She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
