do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
