I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
