Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize