I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize