it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
