ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
All I want is dick and wine.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
