i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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