Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just blew my weed a kiss
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
