3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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