dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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