More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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