I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
