You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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