We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize