Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
