Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
