Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize