i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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