Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
