Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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