They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
