dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
