Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
