2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
