my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
