did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I am naked and annoyed.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
