I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
