Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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