it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
