Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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