3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
nutella sex= disaster
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize