my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
