I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
